JUSTIN: First the Yankees go down the tubes and miss the playoffs and now the Mets are trying to do the same thing!  As much as I dislike the New York baseball teams, the thought of an October without the Yankees or a Mets is like watching Star Wars without Darth Vader.

HOG: And the thought of October baseball without your Texas Rangers is like watching Star Wars without Ewoks! HA HA!

JUSTIN: As much as HogWild gives me crap about the Cowboys monumental choke job in the playoffs last year I can always get him back by simply mention the 2007 Mets. With a seven game lead in the NL East the Mets managed to lose 12 of their last 17 games not only losing the pennant but missing the playoffs all together.  

HOG: Nooooooo!

If you want to equate New York teams with Darth Vader, then that season was The Empire Strikes Out.

JUSTIN: What's even worse is that the 2008 Mets are trying to do the same damn thing. I don't want to say that things are looking grim for the Metropolitans but even God seems like he's against them as the forecast for New York is calling for rain.

HOG: Rain would be awesome! After every Johan Santana start, I pray for a week of rain! Johan Santana is the Mets’ rainbow.

Ya know, no where else will you get that kind of analysis. Those “official” sports sites call Johan Santana “The Ace” or “The Stopper.” Not me. He’s “The Rainbow.”

The other Mets starters are the monsoon. And the awful Mets bullpen that comes in to clean up, is the “President Bush Hurricane Katrina Response Team.”   

JUSTIN: The Yankees, on the other hand, were mathematically eliminated from the playoffs. It made their game against the Orioles the last game ever to be played in Yankee stadium. It was weird watching the Yankees doing a victory lap around Yankee stadium and realizing that it wasn’t October.

It wasn’t as weird as seeing Jason Giambi’s creepy p*rn stache up close on a high definition TV, but after 13 straight years of playoff appearances it just seems odd to head into the playoffs without the Yankees.

HOG: Yeah, the Yankees are kinda like the party animal friend you had back in school. Always at every party. Always up for a crazy night of ruckus. And then there’s that one night he doesn’t want to go out. You’re like, “Are you OK? It’s not like you to be sober so late in the afternoon!”

This is the year the Yankees are sober and staying home to study. Nerds. HA HA!

JUSTIN: I hate the Yankees and don’t really like the Mets either, but I must admit that while I was living in New York I gained a whole new respect for New York baseball fans in general. When the Yankees last played in the Series you feel the excitement as you walked down the street.  

HOG:

THINGS THAT NEW YORKERS COULDN’T CARE LESS ABOUT VS. THINGS NEW YORKERS GET EXCITED ABOUT
UNEXCITING: The President is in town
EXCITING: Takeru Kobayashi is in town to compete in the Nathan’s Hot Dog Eating Competition

UNEXCITING: Some crazy dude is break-dancing half-naked while juggling lit firecrackers and singing “New York, New York” on the subway platform
EXCITING: The subway actually arrives on time

UNEXCITING: Halley’s Comet passes over New York
EXCITING BECAUSE IT HAPPENS LESS OFTEN: New York Knicks get into Playoffs

JUSTIN: I wasn’t there in 2000 for the Subway series but I’d venture to say it was probably the same feeling except about ten times more intense. So that’s why if the Mets fail to make the playoffs I must admit that I will be a little sad because if the latest Star Wars movies taught us anything, it's that George Lucas should have his ass kicked and that if there isn't a decent villain to cheer against then no one gives a pile of Ewok crap who wins in the end!

HOG: And that pile of Ewok crap is also known as your Texas Rangers starting pitching.

You want someone to cheer against? Cheer against Boston. Those self-righteous bastards always whine about the Yankees yet they do the same things. They sign high-profile players for zillions of dollars. They’ve been winning every year. Their fans are just as obnoxious and have ridiculous accents! Root against the Boston Red Sux!

Two worst-sounding accents in the world: Arab accent and Boston Accent. I want to see an argument:

Arab dude: You khhhhhhhhut me off!
Boston dude: F you! Get back in ya cah! Or else I’ll give ya a wicked punch in the throat!
Arab dude: Don’t khhhhhhhurse at me!
New York Police Officer: Iz-dare a problim heh?

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