The Hog Blog

The New York Daily News reports that a Bronx nightclub was shot up with a dozen bullets. One person died. One person lived. Thanks to her bootleg hair weave.

A bullet pierced the rest room door, where the woman was um, resting. The 9mm deathbringer scraped the side of the woman’s head but could not kill her because it got
trapped in her hair weave!

See! There are benefits to being bootleg! Long live the bootleg lifestyle! I love it!

If that woman had an expensive hair weave that felt like soft, supple hair – she would be DEAD right now. You’d be complimenting her hair as it looked in her casket.

But no! She had a bootleg, 99 cent store hair weave. Hard as a helmet. Saved her life!

I think the U.S. Army should issue her hair weave to soldiers.

Private McDougal: “Thank God I was wearing my 99 cent curly black weave over my shaved head. It helped me survive a direct hit by that enemy missile!”

Bootleg forever!!!!

New York Newsday reports that the New York City health department plans to develop a “memorable” wrapper for its free condoms that it distributes.

Great. I can see it now. On the condom wrapper is The Statue of Liberty. But her torch has been replaced with a giant dildo.

What will the artwork be? Maybe the Empire State Building covered in a condom?

New York City Tour Guide: The Empire State Building is 102 stories, of course that doesn’t count the Reservoir Tip. The Empire State Building is ribbed for your pleasure…