My Valentine’s Day Story
Monday, February 13th, 2006Just had a silly good time amusing myself with the Valentine’s Day Quiz. Here is the story it made for me:
Here’s Your HogWild Valentine’s Day Story!
Valentine’s Day is a time to show Alyshia all your love. Usually this is done with sticky iPods and a romantic Tuna Macaroni Salad.
Some common gifts include: a long-stemmed Cactus, chocolate vagina, expensive platinum rope chain, and a card with a poem like:
carnations are orange
lice are lavender
You are so oily
And you have really corrupt buttocks!
You might want to give Alyshia sexy capes made of silky lace. What a sight that would be! buttocks spilling everywhere!
But first Tuna Macaroni Salad over soft lighterlight while your smooth seductive Ludacris CD plays in the background. That song She’s My Cherry Pie always gets you in the mood. The scent of your lover’s perfume excites you. It smells like Walrus buttocks. How erotic!
That inspires you to tell her to meet you in the kitchen in just 37 minutes. You cover yourself from head to buttocks in semen while whistling Stayin’ Alive. You tell her to come forward and lick the semen off your naked body– especially the crevices of your buttocks. You whisper to her, ‘Be my Valentine, sweet Babydew-poo. Make me scream like a wild pug who just got stuck in the buttocks with a rusty electric toothbrush.’ Your Lover then says, ‘I want you to spank my ass and call me Carl.’
You ask ‘Who’s Carl? ‘Oh that’s my Babydew’ is the reply. Shocked and disgusted, you try to leave but you’re already strapped to the computer chair with Wonder Woman’s lasso. You see her with a silk whip! You KNEW you should have listened to your Mom and married a nice Native American Community College Lab Assistant!
What a great story,
That made me laugh harder than the time Star Jones dressed up as a big, bloated Cupid eating Tuna Macaroni Salad and wearing nothing but a silky diaper!
Now just cut and paste the story and share it with your friends. They’ll think you are so corrupt.
Oh yeah, NICE poem! Since when does lavender rhyme with buttocks?!!
