The Hog Blog

George Michael was busted for having drugs after he was found slumped in a car in central London.

Nice.

Song parodies, anyone?

Gotta Have Faith –> Cuz I Gotta Have H

I want your Sex –> I want your X

George Michael is like, 42. And he’s still out in public acting retarded and high. That’s awesome!

Because now the rest of us idiots don’t have to feel so bad about our own behavior. It’s nice to know that 40 year old multi-millionaires ALSO get f***ed up and wake up to find the steering wheel is their pillow.

George Michael busted for drugs in his car. For this arrest, there is no word on whether his hand was on his stick shift.

New York Newsday reports that the New York City health department plans to develop a “memorable” wrapper for its free condoms that it distributes.

Great. I can see it now. On the condom wrapper is The Statue of Liberty. But her torch has been replaced with a giant dildo.

What will the artwork be? Maybe the Empire State Building covered in a condom?

New York City Tour Guide: The Empire State Building is 102 stories, of course that doesn’t count the Reservoir Tip. The Empire State Building is ribbed for your pleasure…

My good buddy is a super environmentalist (other than that, he’s really cool Here is the conflict:

He’s leaving his job. Has to clear out all his stuff.  To transport his stuff he’s going to use a …. CAR!!! Oh my God! This is the guy who walks to work in the spring. He feels bad when he takes the BUS. “But at least it’s mass-transit” he rationalizes.

The guy recycles EVERYTHING. I’m pretty sure he hand-washes his used toilet paper and recycles that with the newspapers.

So this is a BIG deal.

And for me, it’s a great chance to tease him.

I was like, “Dude, I can’t believe you will use a Ve-hell-icle (environmental-speak for car) to move your belongings! You can load everything into the basket on the front of your
bicycle! Just make 1,487 trips!”

That would be awesome… to see him biking down the street in the Seattle rain, trying to look over a stack of binders and framed pictures loaded into his white basket, while he furiously rings the bell on his handle-bar.

That’s the headline I want to see in the newspaper!!!

In case you didn’t know: Dick Cheney shot his 78-year old buddy Harry Whittington with a shotgun, while hunting quail.

Nice Valentine’s Day present! As any hunter will tell you: during mating season, it’s just not sporting to bag an elderly male from close range!