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Expert Dating Advice
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Watch my How to Flirt dating advice video or read how to write a flirty email below: Hi HogWild, I think your dating advice is really funny and helpful! I really like this guy who is out of town right now so we only communicate by talking on the phone, text message and email. How do you flirt if you can't actually see the guy? - L in Orlando
Hog's Relationship Advice: 
WAYS FOR A GIRL TO FLIRT IN PERSON NOTE: Some of these can't be combined! For example, never laugh while staring at his crotch! Of these ways, there's only 1 way to flirt works over email -- laughing at his jokes. Now don't go overboard. If it's actually funny, then say so. But if he makes some tiny little joke, don't be like... OMG! LOL! ROFL AMSJB!!!!!!!!!!!!! TRANSLATION: "Oh my God! Laughing out loud! Rolling on the floor laughing and my spleen just burst!" There are 2 types of flirting... 1 - BEFORE you tell each other that like you each other This is a very important distinction. Because Type 1 Flirting must be more subtle -- especially from the girl. Otherwise you will appear desperate. Type 2 flirting is crazy fun because anything goes. This is where you can talk dirty and make broad jokes about how much you love his jammy. For example, here are 2 text messages you can send the guy depending on which Type of Flirting you are in: Type 1 Flirting Text Message: Type 2 Flirting Text Message: In Type 1, here is something you can say: "I think I have a small crush on you. It's too bad we're far apart. Oh well. I'm sure it will pass soon." This will enact the powerful rule of "People want what they can't have" in your favor. Because you're telling him you like him but this feeling won't last. It's a limited time offer that's about to expire! Another thing you can say or write to flirt is to bring about some competition. Be careful with this one, you have to know the guy... some guys just give up when they know they have competition for a girl. Other guys get A LOT more attracted to the girl and want to really win her over. If the guy you like is the competitive type (he always has to win) then you can try something like... "This guy asked me out yesterday but I think I will tell him no because I prefer guys who _________. " Now fill in the blank with a trait that the guy you like KNOWS he has. So if the guy you like is tall, you'd say, ".... but I think I will tell him no because I prefer tall guys." Just be sure to use a trait that your guy KNOWS he has... Like athletic, intelligent, long hair, etc. Don't say good-looking because lots of guy don't know if they're good looking. NOTE: Good looking guys usually think they are OK. While fat guys with 14 sharp teeth and one angry eyebrow think they're hot. When flirting, don't be too obvious by saying, "This guy asked me out yesterday but I think I will tell him no because I prefer guys who are intelligent, funny and live on 423 Juniper Street and are named Carl. What do you think about that, Carl? WARNING: Don't be sarcastic over text message or email! When talking in person, the guy can read your face, your body language, and hear the tone of your voice to understand if you're kidding or not. But when you only have words on a screen, it is impossible to tell if you're joking unless you say so. So if you're joking ALWAYS add a smiley like :) or :p. Or you can writing j.k. (just kidding.) Or if you're feeling really dorky, at the end of your sentence you can write /sarcasm. Another way to flirt is to use pet names. Like opening your email with a greeting like, "Hey baby!" GOOD PET NAME...... BAD PET NAME Another way how to flirt: tell him you had a dream about him. (He doesn't have to know it was a daydream you had on purpose! :) Good Dream to tell him: "I had this crazy dream last night... I was in (whatever far away place he is right now) and it was summer and we were laying on the grass together looking up at the stars. Weird huh? Anyway, yesterday I went shopping and blah blah blah boring girl talk blah blah blah." :) Bad Dream to tell him: "I had this crazy dream last night! I was riding this wild roller coaster! I was going up and down, then rocking side to side... then I look down and I realize I'm NOT on a roller coaster! I'm sitting on your face!" When you're in Type 2 Flirting, a really fun thing to do is to send him a text message with a naughty thought of what you want to do to him. But obviously it can't happen now because he's far away or he's at work or whatever. And that's what makes it fun because you are teasing him. It will make him have naughty thoughts when he can't do a damn thing about it! This will make him think about you. If you want to make somebody to like you, you need to get into their thoughts. The more they think about you, the better. So send your text messages at times when they are likely to be bored. Or when they are NOT busy. There are two other great times to send a text message... 1 - right before he goes to bed See, that way you will be the last thing he thinks about before he goes to bed and the first thing he thinks about when he wakes up. Extra bonus points if he reads your text while he still has MW (Morning Wood). Because he will start associating you with his GMB! (Good Morning Boner.) If you're using email, you have the power to send him pictures. Remember guys are super visual. So think of some excuse to send him hot pictures of yourself. For example you can write: "I really trust your opinion. So tell me, which bikini do you like better? The one I'm wearing in the first picture or the second picture?" Or you can make up a reason to send him a picture of yourself in a revealing outfit. Like, "Last weekend I went out and we took some pictures so I thought I'd send you one. Do you have any pictures of what you've been up to?" Of course you can send a more conservative picture of just your face. Like you want his opinion of your new hairstyle or your new tattoo of his name across your neck. Just asking for his opinion is hinting that you like him. Because if you didn't like him, you wouldn't care what he thinks about you! And that is another way to flirt. Ask for his advice about something. By asking for his advice, it tells him that you think he's smart and that you trust him. You can even say it outright... "I'm having this problem and you're really smart about these things so... " For instance you can write him... "Hey Baby Wiener! You're really good at science so I wanted to ask your opinion about the smoke that is coming out of the big burning bumps I have on my hoo-ha." HA HA! j.k! /sarcasm! * More HogWild Dating Advice
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