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Hi Hog,

My boyfriend and I have been dating for about 3 months and I have a feeling that he's going to ask me to marry him! I love him so much and I know it's only been 3 months together but I think I've really found my soul mate. We almost never argue, we laugh at the same kinds of movies and we like the same music. But some of my friends say I should wait. (Are they just jealous?) I'm afraid if I say no I will really hurt his feelings. I don't want to lose him! What should I do?

- K in Louisiana

Hog's Relationship Advice:

If your guy proposes, don't say no. But don't say yes.

Say, "Not yet."

NOTE: This is much better than laughing and pointing at him while yelling, "You call THAT little thing a diamond?" Especially if you're on the giant TV screen at a baseball stadium...

"Today on Sports Wrap-Up, we've got highlights from all the games and THIS loser whose girlfriend laughs at his marriage proposal! Looks like he STRUCK OUT, Jim." "Yeah Tom, that player is about to be a free agent."

Tell your man how much he means to you. Tell him that he's the only one. But most importantly, tell him that you care too much about him to screw this up. Say you want to do this right and take it slow.

NOTE: This does not apply if you are both 80 years old. Because in that case, you don't have time to take it slow. Go for it! Go on! Get out of here! Get married and go have elderly sex!

NOTE TO SELF: Eeeeeeeewwwww!!!

Why do I say to take it slowly? Because a relationship must be able to stand the test of time.

It takes time to get to really know someone. Yes, you can speed things up by discovering a person's values and interests. But there is one thing you can't do...

You can't know how this person acts in different situations.

Some people get depressed during the holiday season. But how would you know that about your partner unless you live through it together? Some people can't handle 3 straight days of rain. How does he react when you're stuck in traffic on your way to see your family? How does he react when he finds out you spent the rent money on shoes and chocolate and uh, chocolate shoes?

Have you been sick? How does your guy act now? Does he take care of you? Or does he still demand you give him a bl0w-job even though you're sneezing on his wiener?

It's easy for a person to be all happy and supportive when things are going well. But how does he behave when things get tough?

We don't think about these things because we like to believe that people are consistent. We like to simplify people and put labels on them... Joe is a happy-go-lucky guy. Jane is a b!tch. Fred is smart.

But the truth is, people are not as consistent as we like to think. Joe is happy-go-lucky with his friends but very shy around new people. Jane is a b!tch at work but very loving with her family. Fred is smart at math but too retarded to know how to unfasten your bra.

People act differently in different situations. And this is why it takes time to really know someone. How a person acts depends not ONLY on their character but on their environment and situation.

Dress a girl like a pilgrim and put her in a room full of nuns and children and puppies... she'll act one way. Now put that same girl in a bikini on a beach in Mexico full of hot dudes and cheap alcohol. Believe me, that Pilgrim girl is going be de-Mayflowered! HA HA HA!

NOTE TO SELF: de-Mayflowered! HA HA HA!

We all act differently depending on the situation... I'm usually very optimistic and positive. But I'm cranky whenever I am hungry or tired. Does that make me a cranky person? No. But in that circumstance I am. But what if I were to be in that circumstance often? I wouldn't want to hang out with me either.

I was with a girl who was PDA (Pretty Damn Awesome.) But I discovered that she was a totally different person when under stress. OK. But now her job situation changed and she was under CONSTANT stress. She would snap and take out her frustration on me. I knew she was a much happier person (and easier to get along with) when she was well-rested and relaxed...

So really get to know your partner. Make sure you can deal with all his moods. Make sure he can deal with all YOUR moods!

GUY'S MOODS
horny, angry, horny, happy, horny, frustrated, horny

GIRL'S MOODS
excited, annoyed, playful, GET-AWAY-FROM-ME!, sad, super-sad, super-sad-but-happy, happy-but-still-sad, sad-that-I'm-happy, annoyed-that-I'm-sad-while-happy, super-annoyed-but-happy-I'm-not-super-sad, super-kinda-excited-but-sleepy...
And finally the mood a girl is in .01% of the time: horny.

Love at first sight is not love. It's infatuation. And that's a great start. But the real love begins when those crazy feelings go away. When the butterflies leaves your stomach. (And they will.) Love is work.

It's work like digging a ditch. A ditch that will become your own grave! Mwu-HA HA HA!

No.

It's amazingly rewarding work. It takes effort to love someone. And it's a choice you need to make every single day. If it was easy, then couples would never break-up. It's a challenge. But if you really do love this person, you will be up for it.

I don't know your friends so I don't know if they are "just jealous." By acting against your friends' advice you and your dude are going into this mode of "Us against the World." And that's a lot of fun.

It's something for you and your man to bond over. But it doesn't mean that you're right and they're wrong. Most likely your friends care about you. (Unless you pick gas-holes as friends.)

They want you to be happy in the long-term. They have an outside objective perspective while you can't see what's going on because "love is blind." And you've got dancing pink hearts in your eyes.

You shouldn't be afraid to lose your boyfriend if you don't accept his proposal right away. If he really loves you, he will understand and he will wait. And besides, it will give him more time to save up to get you a bigger diamond!

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