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Hi Hog, I met this guy and he told me that he doesn't like relationships because he doesn't like drama. The first time we had sex he kept kissing and hugging me. We met again 2 weeks later and watched a movie and had sex. The next week he called me and wanted to see me. I told him that I had my period and I was unable to have sex but he said he just wanted to see me and that we didn't have to always have sex. It's been about 4 months since I met him and I am really starting to like him and I think he really likes me, too. How do I let him know that I want a relationship without being too pushy or scaring him off? Or should I just let things be since everything is good? How do I hint that I want a relationship? - I in Atlanta
Hog's Relationship Advice: 
Just let things be since everything is good? Yeah, right! That's not how girls think! Girls can never let a good thing be! BOYFRIEND: I like your hair. BOYFRIEND: I like your outfit. BOYFRIEND: I like you. Clearly this guy had a really bad experience with a relationship. The pain is fresh in his mind and he wants to avoid getting into another mess. It's also clear that this dude really likes you. SIGNS THAT A DUDE REALLY LIKES YOU You may actually already be in a relationship! It depends upon your definition. If you two are sharing your intimate feelings with each other as well as your bodies then that's what I call a relationship... though most people have 1 more requirement called "exclusivity." Are you seeing anyone else? Is he? Both of you may be boinking/sharing intimate feelings with only each other... So you actually have what you want without realizing it! So you could just shut up and enjoy it, but you won't because you're a woman so... As far as "hinting" that you want a relationship... Guys don't get subtlety and they don't get hints. That's why I urge guys to LEARN how to read signals because we're not born with this skill. Back in the day when a girl would smile at me I would think "Why is she smiling at me? Is she laughing because I have something on my face? Maybe she has gas. Yeah, that must be it." The thing is you can't be blatant either because it makes you look desperate. There is only 1 exception where you should come out and say it... But normally, the answer is to repeat the hints over and over until you are sure he gets it. HOW TO HINT THAT YOU WANT AN EXCLUSIVE RELATIONSHIP Say to your guy: - "My ex-boyfriend called me and asked me if I'm in a relationship. I didn't know what to tell him exactly... " - It's really weird but all these guys have been hitting on me recently. It's as if they know I'm seeing someone! They always ask if I have a boyfriend and I'm like, well, technically no...." - "You know, when I'm in an exclusive relationship I allow myself to get really freaky in bed... If I was your only girl, woo! I'd make you REALLY happy! Maybe one of these days you'll be ready and we'll go shopping for handcuffs and big-breasted lesb!ans." Some guys are relationship-guys and they want a relationship, so after they understand your hints, they will ask you to be in a relationship with them. However, the one exception is the guy who likes to date multiple chicks at once. These guys will wait and wait and wait and wait, then wait some more before settling down with you. With these guys you must demand a relationship. You have to show them there are benefits. BENEFITS TO BEING IN A RELATIONSHIP With a guy, your main power is over #1. That's why there are girls who don't give up the Fun-Dip until they get what they want... be it an exclusive relationship, or marriage, or $40. The key with your particular guy is to reassure him that a relationship with you will be free of drama. So show him. Spend more and more time with him. As you grow closer and do things together, he'll see that you are different from the girl who caused him so much pain. If you are really making this guy happy, he will start to value you more and more. Once he really values you, he will begin to feel like he can't replace you. That's when you can begin to make your demands. Not before! You can simply say, "I really like what we have together. Do you like being with me?" After he says yes, you continue, "Am I doing a good job of making you happy?" After he says yes, you say to him, "How would it make you feel if I told you I was seeing someone else?" If he really likes you, his face will turn green. He will gulp hard to swallow his vomit. He may break out in a sweat. This will crush him. So interrupt, "Of course I'm not. I don't want to. I only want to be with you. And if you're seeing someone else... well, I don't want to share you with anyone else. I want to be the only woman in your life. I want to be your girl." It would be very brave of you to say those things because there is always the risk he may say no. But if you are making him happy, he will WANT to take you as his girlfriend so he doesn't lose you. The main premise here is that he risks losing everything you two have together if he doesn't make a commitment. He has to really WANT to do this, otherwise he'll just pay you lip service but then cheat on you. In any negotiation (and that's what this is), to get what you want, you have to be willing to walk away. If you can't walk away, then the other party has the upper-hand. So decide what you truly want. If an exclusive relationship is a MUST, then he has to give you this or else you will find someone else. It's not a threat, it's just what you need to be happy. THINGS A GIRL NEEDS TO BE HAPPY NOTE: Any of the above may be replaced by "new shoes." :) Guys, just so you know, girls are never satisfied in a relationship. They always want things to be moving forward. RELATIONSHIP PROGRESS THAT *GUYS* WANT RELATIONSHIP PROGRESS THAT *GIRLS* WANT * More HogWild Dating Advice
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