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Hi Hog,

I fell head over heels for a guy I've been chatting with online for 3 or 4 months. I finally decided to go visit him even though I know he has a girlfriend. While I was there we went out every night and danced and we hooked up. I had an amazing time with him! Now I am back home and I miss him terribly. Should I go for him?

- C in El Paso

Hog's Relationship Advice:

Yes. You should continue to chase men who are unavailable and then wonder why you are miserable.

It's like if you went to the shoe store full of hot sexy shoes. And in the entire store the only shoes you want is that one pair that is out of stock. But instead of saying "Oh well!" and looking at all the other great shoes... you try them on anyway! They don't fit exactly but they look great on you.

What I'm saying is that if you continue to choose guys who are unavailable you will feel sexy for a short while but soon you will be in pain and you'll get bunions.

There are literally millions of men who want you. Don't believe me? Post a profile on a dating site that says you are looking for a good time and willing to travel to their town to get it.

I guarantee you'll get marriage proposals, poems, and offers of lustful activities like the Detroit Dragon's Breath that you will need to Google just to find out what they are. (And when you find out your eyes will open wide, your jaw will drop, and your computer will shiver and curl up in a ball and need a hot shower.)

NOTE TO YOU PERVERTS WHO JUST GOOGLED DETROIT DRAGON'S BREATH: It's not on Google! I made it up!

Listen, If this was say, 1792, I would tell you to follow your passion and to feverishly send a love note to your interest via The Pony Express. But just as those people were discovering a New World, so are we. In our New World we are not limited to the 12 available mates who live within horse-riding distance. We can easily talk with anyone from around the world. And more and more, we are being freed from location-based employment, meaning that in many jobs we can work from anywhere over the internet.

NOTE TO SELF: I wonder if The Pony Express had to carry stupid chain letters like we have in email today... "Attention Carol, George, Sam, Joe, and Lisa! You must send me with this message to 10 of your friends within 24 hours or else you will be struck with bad luck!.... Man, I hate my job."

This New World for us is a blessing and a curse. The blessing is that we have more options than ever before! The curse is that when people have too many options we tend to get confused and either not choose at all or refuse to stick with our decision because we know we have so many options. In other words, when you believe you only have 1 choice you work hard to make it a good situation. When you have limitless options you might be tempted to jump out and look elsewhere at the first sign of discomfort.

Never settle. And that means 1 - Don't settle for a mediocre mate. 2 - Don't settle for a lifetime of introductions instead of deep relationships and 3 - Don't settle for a Toledo Mud Hen when you can have the Detroit Dragon's Breath!

You knew this guy was unavailable. This probably made him even more attractive to you as we all want what we can't have. Realize this. Get a hold of your feelings. You are infatuated. This is that crazy high feeling of being "in love." Butterflies in your stomach. Nervous energy. Excitement!

That's all fun but it's a drug. It's a temporary high feeling of what is new or forbidden. It is TEMPORARY. You must take a deep breath and THINK. Once this phase is over (and it always ends) would you two make a good couple? Do you share core values? You know, do you value the same things in life? Do you make each other laugh? Do you learn from each other? Do you support each other? Are you willing (and excited) to WORK for each other?

A man's job is to work for his woman. To provide for her. I don't care about that P.C. bullsh!t. Let's not get it twisted. Men have and always will be naturally built to be providers. It's only the failure of men that has made it necessary for women to take on masculine roles in society.

NOTE TO WORKING WOMEN: I love you! What I'm saying is that a woman should work because she wants to, not because she has to.

NOTE TO MEN: Fear not a strong working woman! For she can plow the field, whilst you drink beer.

It's a woman's job to INSPIRE a man to work for her and to provide for her and the family. It is her job to support him emotionally. Guys, if you choose the wrong woman she will destroy you. If you choose the right woman, she will challenge you, push you, and love you to greater heights than you have ever imagined.

In the words of the legendary James Brown: "It's man's world, but it wouldn't be nothing without a woman or a girl."

And in the words of the philosopher Snoop Doggy Dog: "B!tches ain't sh!t but hoes and tricks."

So guys, don't choose a b!tch. Choose a woman.

Women, you must choose a man who will take care of you emotionally and physically. If you choose a man who is already in a relationship and he cheats on his girlfriend to be with you, do you think he will suddenly become an honest man when you are his girlfriend?

HINT: No.

Your ego says, "Yes! Because I'm better than that other girl!" But it has nothing to do with you. If he was unhappy in his relationship he should have broken up with that girl first. Then be with you. So what will happen when you hit a rough spot with this guy in your relationship with him? Will he be able to communicate with you to fix it? Or will he run into the open arms and legs of another woman?

Choose wisely. Master the art of meeting new people so you have choices. Not only will it give you more options, but it will truly make you appreciate your partner when you do find that connection because you will see how many people you are NOT compatible with.

And it will make your relationship stronger. Because you will be with that person because you WANT to not because you HAVE to because you have no other options.

This is why women are attracted to men who have women around them or are already involved. A woman wants to be with a guy who is desired. He must have something good going on. A man with options who chooses you makes you feel special. Dude with no women and no prospects choosing you makes you feel like you donated to charity. Kinda nice but is he a tax write-off?

ONLY if you do your homework and decide that this particular guy is awesome for you should you pursue him. If so, write me back and I'll tell you how to win him away from his girlfriend. But I have a feeling that you are infatuated and lonely. Well guess what?

No man can make an unhappy woman happy. The right man can help a happy woman blossom into her true potential. But no outside source can make anyone happy. Happiness comes from within. Money can't make you happy. But if you're already happy it will make your life easier. I'm sure you can think of famous people who are rich but are still miserable. It's sad. Take care of yourself first. You know you are ready for a relationship at the exact moment you don't need a relationship.

And you know you are ready for the Detroit Dragon's Breath when... well, nothing can prepare you for that!

 

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