Dating Advice Man. Relationship Advice + Twisted Humor. Good Advice from HogWild. Jokes.  HOGWILD.NET  expert dating advice Relationship Advice.

| EXPERT DATING ADVICE | DATING ADVICE | DATING COACH | MEMBERS | STORE | FUNNY PICTURES | FUNNY RANTS | COMEDY VIDEOS | DATING ADVICE MAN | CARTOONS | CHATS | GAMES | LINKS | COMEDY SHOWS | CONTACT | JOIN NOW |

Expert Dating Advice
Funny MySpace Pictures
Funny Rants /Jokes
Comedy Videos
News
Dating Advice Man
Cartoons
Chats
Games
Comedy Shows
Contact/Email Me
Free Newsletter
Links
Dating Coach
 Subscribe in a reader
Professional Dating Advice
Crazy T-Shirts
Watch my dating advice videos or improve your dating with dating coach HogWild.

How to give a Girl a Kiss she'll NEVER Forget How can I stop being clingy and needy? What are your Rules for Dating? How do you flirt over email or text message? How do I get a girl attracted to me? Does this guy like me or not?! How do I know if I'm really in love? How do I get a guy more attracted to me? Why do nice guys finish last? Neither of us has made the first move. Should I make a move or wait for him?www.hogwild.net

Get Instant Access to over 300 helpful + hilarious dating advice videos you can't find anywhere else! *** Join the HogWild Relationship Revolution! ***

Hi Hog,

I have been noticing that most of the guys who hit on me are not my type. Does this mean that I have the wrong type?

I usually end up being single for a year or two at a time because I am not interested in the guys who approach me and I don't usually go after guys. Then I end up settling for someone who doesn't seem as bad as the others. But he almost always ends up being a total loser and a jerk.

It's starting to get on my nerves that so many loser guys hit on me. Do you think this happens to everyone?

And why do you think it happens? Do guys just hit on anyone?

- M

Hog's Relationship Advice:

You are making crappy choices.

Your job as a woman is to attract many high-quality men so you can choose the best one.

The type of guy you attract depends a lot on:

1 - How you look

2 - How you carry yourself

3 - Who you surround yourself with

4 - Where you hang out

Let's begin with...

1 - How you look

For example, if you dress with your snuggle-bubbles all pushed-up and hanging out, wearing high-heels with a mini-skirt in a snowstorm you will attract men who enjoy exchanging money for sex.

If you dress classy and carry yourself in a dignified manner, you are more likely to attract men who are also classy.

You wouldn't dress like a heavy metal rock chick and then wonder why hip-hop guys don't like you.

For instance, I tend to approach women who are pretty but look down-to-earth. Why? Because I'm a down-to-earth type-of-guy who wants a girl who is fun to be with. So I don't usually approach girls who are overly made up holding a $1700 designer handbag.

I also tend not to approach girls who are addicted to Meth. I guess I'm a snob when it comes to demanding a woman have all her front teeth.

2 - How you carry yourself

If you are wobbling around so drunk that you walking in your high-heels looks like a dying deer, then expect to attract guys who are going in for "easy prey."

Personally, I am not attracted to girls who are wasted. This shows me you are out of control and not healthy. I am, and a lot of men, are attracted to healthy (physically, mentally, and emotionally healthy) women. Buzzed is cool. Vomiting is gross. Respect yourself if you want others to respect you.

3 - Who you surround yourself with

If you want attention from men, then you must look available.

Guys are intimidated enough just from the idea of approaching you. (Guys fear being rejected.) You have to make it look like you WANT to meet guys. Not in a desperate way. In a friendly way.

So don't go out with 5 girls who surround you at all times. You expect a guy to approach all 5 of you? You may as well surround yourself with heavily-armed soldiers riding atop blood-thirsty panthers who shoot fireballs from their mouths.

Roll with 1 other girl. Or if you do go out in a chick-pack, separate yourself so a guy can feel comfortable approaching you.

BIG MISTAKE #1: No, it does NOT make you look hotter when you go out with your ugly friend. It makes it harder to approach you.

Because now OUR friend (Wing Man) has to agree to talk to your ugly friend all night. And now we owe him big-time. Don't understand?

What if, while your girlfriend was talking to that hot guy over there, YOU had to make small talk with his friend --  the cross-eyed guy who is trying to impress you by talking about his extensive collection of Star Wars figurines whose breath smells like dog poo melting in the summer.

Look, even if your friend is MORE attractive than you, that's cool because you'll get guys coming up all night and you will be involved in the conversations and have a chance to meet lots of guys.

BIG MISTAKE #2: Going out with a dude. Guys will assume the dude is your boyfriend.

It doesn't matter if the guy is your cousin, brother, friend, or g@y shopping partner. Most guys won't ask, they will just approach a girl who is not with a dude. The guy you're with would have to wear a t-shirt and matching hat with blinking letters that spell out, "I AM NOT HER BOYFRIEND!"

And even then, most dudes would assume your friend is at least TRYING to sleep with you so they will stay away because they don't want the confrontation.

So I guess the t-shirt would have to say, "I AM NOT HER BOYFRIEND. I AM NOT TRYING TO HUMP HER. I AM FRIENDLY AND HAVE NO PEN!S."

Then... maybe.

4 - Where you hang out

You can't eat at McBootleg Burger every day then complain that they have nothing healthy on the menu.

If you wanted to meet a high-quality man, would you hang out at the unemployment office?

Would you attend the Annual Guys-Over-40-Who-Still-Live-at-Home-with-Mommy Convention?

Then why are you hanging out at the night club where everyone goes to get laid?

Meet men in other places.

Some places where you can find men of all types:

* the Supermarket * the Bookstore * Concerts * the Museum * Sporting Events * the Park

The way to approach a man is by not approaching. You can initiate a conversation if it is indirect. A woman being direct in our society makes a guy think something is wrong with you or that you are a hooker.

NOTE TO HOOKERS: Thanks for reading my web site! Now git yo' azz back on the street and make daddy his money!

You are woman. Use your feminine ways to make a man approach YOU. He is supposed to work for you. Make him want to.

EXAMPLES:

At the Supermarket:

YOU: Excuse me. I'm sorry to bother you. But can you reach that box of pasta on the top shelf for me? (BAT YOUR EYES AT HIM.)

DUDE: Uh, sure. (CONFUSED MAN FACE).

YOU: Thank you. (LOOK HIM OVER.)

DUDE: (CONFUSED MAN FACE).

NOTE: This rarely happens to a guy, so give his slow man-brain a chance to catch up to you. Drop him another hint that you want him to talk to you...

Begin to walk away, but then...

YOU: I see that you have a bag of Oreos (or whatever catches your eye in his cart.) I LOVE those! But I'm being good this month and watching my diet.

DUDE: Uh, oh yeah, Oreos yummy. Uh, you yummy, too. Me like. You have phone number?

Another example. At the Park. You see a cute guy sitting by himself reading a book.

WRONG WAY:

YOU TWIRLING YOUR CHEWING GUM ON YOUR FINGER: Hey ya, big boy! Whatcha readin' there, hot stuff?

RIGHT WAY:

YOU SITTING DOWN ON THE BENCH NEXT TO HIM: Excuse me. I'm so sorry to interrupt your reading but I need a man's opinion on something. My girlfriend has been seeing this new guy for a few weeks then he suddenly stopped calling... what does that mean?

NOTE: Meeting a man in the park is a great idea unless the man is sleeping under a newspaper.

NOTE TO MEN WHO WANT TO MEET WOMEN IN THE PARK: Your first line should not be, "Can you spare some change?"

*** WAKE-UP CALL ***

You said, "But he almost always ends up being a total loser and a jerk."

This is because you WANT to be with total losers and jerks.

Let that sink in. I don't care if it makes you angry. It's true. Girls who consistently end up with @ssholes do so because deep down that's who they want.

So you say you're tired of @ssholes? Prove it.

Stop being with them. You know from the start. @sshole guys can be exciting because of the danger involved. This adrenaline rush is easily confused with attraction.

Or maybe you like guys who treat you like crap because you confuse being treated poorly with love because your family was mean to you as a child.

It's time to move on and do better. You need to make better choices. Choose a man who not only makes you happy but makes your inner-child happy. There is a cool mental exercise that is AMAZING. It will change your dating life forever. But I don't feel like repeating myself, so find it here.

NOTE TO @SSHOLE-GUYS: Thank you! It makes it sooo much easier for the rest of us guys to seem awesome in comparison!

Final part of your question:

"Do guys just hit on anyone?"

No. Guys choose the easiest path to sex with a girl in their R.A.H. (Range of Acceptable Hotness.)

If a guy find girls who are a 6+ to be in his R.A.H., then he will choose an approachable, friendly-looking 6 over a b!tchy-looking 10.

"I end up settling for someone who doesn't seem as bad as the others."

Never settle. Though you may need to make your expectations more realistic. Because it may be difficult for you to find a sexy billionaire with a thick romance-pole who enjoys spending every evening brushing your hair and massaging your feet... but you SHOULD expect and settle for nothing less than a man who makes you feel special.

Otherwise, what's the point?

Being alone is not the worst thing in the world. You have friends to share your successes and make you laugh. You can rub your Yummy Palace better than most random dudes anyway.

So if you're going to be with someone, he'd better be someone who makes you feel good and enhances your life.

So get started by purchasing your plane ticket to the Annual Guys-Over-40-Who-Still-Live-at-Home-with-Mommy Convention! HA HA HA!

Did you like this article? Then buy me some chicken wings!

Ask YOUR Relationship / Dating Question!  More HogWild Dating Advice Man  

HOGWILD.NET Expert Dating Advice + Dating Advice. expert dating advice every day