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Hi Hog,

I am a very confident, smart, and witty college girl. No matter where I seem to go I happen to be in the same place as this cute college guy (which is quite rare on a campus with over 50,000 college students).

It is often said that it is not right for girls to approach guys to initiate conversation because men thrive on the chase. Would it be wrong for me to approach this guy?

Would my forwardness deprive him of his male instincts and therefore make him uninterested from the get-go?

Also, what would be an acceptable "pick-up line" to approach him?

My own opinion would be for me to simply approach him and say "I see you around campus all the time and I thought that I would introduce myself. Maybe we should bump into each other on purpose some time. Here's my phone number."

Please let me know what you think on this topic.

- Confident College Girl

Hog's Relationship Advice:

I like your gusto! If only dating were as straight-forward as you'd like it to be.

We all CLAIM that we don't want someone to "play games." Because, logically, we know these little mind games are stupid.

But emotionally and psychologically, we are programmed to respond to certain behaviors and stimuli.

To men, big boobies = healthy. Even if a girl has FAKE boobies (Foobies) we can not stop the auto-response that happens in our pants.

To women, a desired man = more valuable. Even if you KNOW some dude is a douche-bag, seeing all these women want him stirs a desire in you to win him.

In American society, the woman does not ask the man out. This may sound old-fashioned because IT IS!

If you want to change our culture, go ahead. But prepare to be lonely in the process.

YOU: I'm going to change the rules of seduction in Western Society! Now who's with me?!

YOUR 13 CATS: Meeeeeee-owwww!!

I know a lot of guys out there are going, "Dude! I WISH I had girls hitting on me and giving me their number!"

If you're thinking that, then you've probably never had a girl blatantly hit on you.

I have. And when a girl does that I IMMEDIATELY begin thinking, "Hmm... what is wrong with this girl? Why would she have to chase me? Is she psychotic? Does she have something highly-contagious sprouting out of a sensitive area?"

Thrill of the chase? I HATE chasing. I think I'm like most guys in that I like a girl who is a semi-challenge. A girl who I know will surrender to my advances... eventually.

NOTE: Notice my language. "Surrender." I like to feel like I'm in charge. In reality, the girl is usually in charge but she allows the man to THINK that it's the other way around. Why? Because it gives us a boner. Now, if girls like candy, do you want a man who has a hard Butterfinger a floppy Twizzler?

If a girl gives it up on the 1st date, to me that's a red flag UNLESS we had this amazing emotional connection. Also, if a girl gives me no indication that we will soon advance physically, then I'm done chasing her UNLESS she is super ridiculously amazing in some way.

NOTE: Super ridiculously amazing = she's a great cook. Yummy!

Guys go for girls who they believe they can get but aren't TOO easy. Most guys will choose a girl who is a 6 and available to them rather than work really hard for a girl who is an 8.

So I encourage you to play kinda-hard-to-get.

What pick-up line should you use? HA HA HA!!!! Girls don't NEED pick-up lines! YOU are your pick-up line!

Pick-up lines were invented to make a man seem witty, thus showing you his value. You think: "He's funny, he's clever, etc. So I will give him a chance."

NOTE to GUYS: Don't use pick-up lines. Women want a man who is confident, not a man who hides behind a pre-packaged pick-up line. It's really best to approach a girl by asking for her opinion on something. Like, "Excuse me, do you think my jeans make my testicles look huge?"

Men are not won over by a woman's wit. It's through her physicality. I could say looks, but that would be short-changing it. It's your hotness + your attitude. Your... hottitude.

NOTE TO SELF: I love it when I make up new words.

I've been attracted to women with "average" looks but they had a sexy confidence. Or a seductive look. Or a sweet shyness. Many different things. It's an overall aura.

Now, I LOVE a girl who makes me laugh! Total bonus.

But if I'm not already attracted to you, you could make me pee my pants with laughter -- I'm still not dating you. I think Margaret Cho is hilarious. But the thought of sex with her makes my wiener-hole scream, "Noooooooooo! Waaaaaaaaa!"

Your job as a woman is to get what you want out of a man by igniting his sexual passion. As a man, it is our job to give you everything you want and then complain about it.

See, men rule the world. But women rule the men.

Because men act out of their sexual desires.

So, no, do not ask for his number. Get him to ask for yours.

How?

Strike up a conversation with him. That's okay to do. If you are subtle and nonchalant.

Why? Because in our culture that's how it is done. Man initiates. So if you want to initiate you must be delicate.

You may protest, "But why can't I approach with:

"Hi, handsome! How are you tonight?"

Why? Because it sounds a lot like:

"Hey there, big boy! How are you tonight? Lonely?"

And that's the pick-up line used by hookers and Paris Hilton.

NOTE: Yes, I know that was redundant.

In a bar situation, you might walk past a man and compliment him with a smile and say, "I like your shirt." Then you walk away.

Now he's gonna go crazy. He should approach you soon. If not, you can give him another smile and a seductive eyebrow raise. 

Guys are very, very dumb when it comes to reading body language. So you may have to hit him over the head with it.

Give him the easiest opportunity in the world to get your number.

Once you do that, he may or may not ask for it. Read HIS body language. If he is giving you good signals but not asking for your number then he is shy. Encourage him.

If he is giving you weak body language and not asking, maybe he doesn't like you. Yet. It just means that you have more work to do. But that's another topic.

If I were you, this is what I would do the next time you see him on campus:

Smile at him in that seductive way that only you girls can do. Unless he is an unusually confident young man, this will probably catch him off-guard.

Next, lift up your shirt and shout, "Press your face between my boobies!!!"

NOTE: Just kidding. Don't do that. Especially if you are in the cafeteria.

YOU: Hey! You know, I see you around campus all the time! Isn't that weird? What's your name?

Easy. Now your job is to help him keep the conversation going. But let HIM be the star.

A lot of guys get intimidated by a girl who seems really forward. Let the man be the man.

This does NOT mean play dumb. It does NOT mean play shy. It means use your intelligence, beauty, and confidence to draw him in.

You are a spider luring him into your web. Entice him to chase YOU.

Then when he lunges forward, you pull back. This riles him up! Now he wants you more. He lunges forward again, you pull back! If he gets a bit discouraged, now YOU move forward to reassure him. If he knows the game, then he knows it's his turn to pull back in this lovers' dance.

Be a flirt. Touch him gently on his arm. Smile. Laugh at his jokes. You can be funny, too, but don't try to out-do him. Be funny WITH him.

DON'T be blatant. That makes you look desperate. And that's a huge turn-off. Never be like, "Sooooo... do you have a girlfriend?"

You can find out that information in a more clever way.

Make sure that YOU end the conversation.

Let's say the two of you talk and it goes well. Now you want his number. DO NOT ask for it. Make HIM ask you. He should do this on his own, but if he doesn't, here is what you do:

YOU: Hey, I'm glad we talked. You seem really different from the other guys I've met on campus. I'm sorry that I have to get going now.

Look at him with a hint of sadness and wait for him to ask for your phone number. If he doesn't, let it get a bit awkward and then...

YOU: So... maybe we can talk again some time...

Look at him again.

If by now he does not ask for your phone number he

A) doesn't like you

B) is retarded

or

C) is non-heterosexual.

We value what we have to work for. We don't value that which comes too easily. That's why you need to make him earn your phone number by showing you that he's interesting or cool or funny or intelligent.

But of course you don't have to follow my advice. You can do things your way and be just as happy. Isn't that right guys?

YOUR 13 CATS: Meeeeeeeeeeee-owwwww!!!!!

HA HA HA!

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