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Hi Hog,

There is a guy who I like (and I think he likes me back) but he repeats over and over the girls who have a crush on him, saying that they should give him a break. Is he trying to tell me something? 

-K

Hog's Relationship Advice:

The first thing you need to do is to find out if he really likes you.

If he DOES really like you, then he is telling you about all his other girl-options in order to make you jealous.

Girls like guys who are in demand. If he's slick, he knows this and he is letting you know that he is in demand.

Or there could be the chance that he is ACCIDENTALLY playing this game. Like, it could be true that all these girls like him and that it is really annoying him. This would mean that you have NO CHANCE with him because he is g@y.

No heterosexual guy gets annoyed that there are too many girls who like him. Okay, there's one. Is this guy's name Justin Timberlake? Because he might be the only man on the planet who has TOO many chicks wanting to unwrap his "Junk in a Box."

Or, could it be, by complaining about all the girls who like him, that he is telling YOU to chill out?

It comes back to this: Does he like you?

Not sure?

Okay, I present to you HogWild's How-to-Tell-if-a-Guy-Likes-You Quiz:

1 - When he sees you, does he

a - start up a conversation with you?

or

b - dive under a table and hold up a Crucifix?

2 - Does he answer your questions

a - with enthusiasm and eye contact?

or

b - by looking away and mumbling a string of obscenities?

3 - When you are near him does he tend to

a - smile or maybe act a little bit nervous

or

b - hold his nose

4 - Does he compliment you by saying

a - You look really nice today

or

b - Did you cut your hair? Because you look less fat or something.

NOTE: The (b) answers are bad. Duh.

What if he doesn't like you? Or what if you're still not sure?

SECRET TO A BOY'S BRAIN: When a guy finds out that a girl likes him, he starts to like her more.

It's automatic. We can't help it. We start to rationalize. Even if we are totally not attracted to a girl, we think up reasons to like her because she likes us.

Why? Because we REALLY like pancakes. And by pancakes I mean sex. And by sex I mean hot sweaty pot belly pig humping. And by hot sweaty pot belly pig humping I mean I am retarded.

EXAMPLE: I'm not attracted to Jane Horsetooth. I find out that Jane Horsetooth likes me. ME: Hmm... I never thought about it this way, but why SHOULDN'T I date a girl with one long eyebrow?

HINT: Make certain you have 2 eyebrows AT ALL TIMES!

Okay, to all the dudes reading this: You see what's going on here? Girls are extra-attracted to the guys who everyone else wants. Girls are super-competitive. They want the most desirable dude in the room. Most guys want the hottest girl. And most girls want the coolest guy.

You may not like this, but this is how our society works. Of course, there is something very special called "settling." This is where we settle for someone who maybe isn't the coolest guy or the hottest girl. We do this because we are lazy.

Never underestimate the power of lazy!

FASCINATING FACTOID: As we age, different things qualify as hot or cool.

Girls ages 14-18 consider "cool" to be the guy who is very popular.

Girls ages 19-22 consider "cool" to be the guy who is handsome and fashionable.

Girls ages 23-26 consider "cool" to be the guy who is very talented and respected.

Girls ages 27-34 consider "cool" to be the guy who has a good career.

Girls ages 35-59 consider "cool" to be the guy who will date them.

Girls ages 60-99 consider "cool" to be the guy who can go to the bathroom all by himself.

Guys ages 14-18 consider "hot" to be the girl with the pretty face, big boobies, and nice booty.

Guys ages 19-22 consider "hot" to be the girl with the pretty face, big boobies, and nice booty.

Guys ages 23-26 consider "hot" to be the girl with the pretty face, big boobies, and nice booty.

Guys ages 27-34 consider "hot" to be the girl with the pretty face, big boobies, and nice booty.

Guys ages 35-59 consider "hot" to be the girl with the pretty face, big boobies, and nice booty.

Guys ages 60-99 consider "hot" to be the girl who will help him go to the bathroom.

So what did we learn? Girls, it's important to be hot. Guys, it's important to be cool.

This is why Plastic Surgery is so popular. And this is why guys work so hard to advance in their careers and make more money.

Is this sad? In a way. Read the classic book, "The Art of Loving" by Erich Fromm to understand more how our society has turned Love into Marketing.

But until then I'll be going out looking for pretty girls with big boobies and nice booties!

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