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3 Important Things to Consider when Choosing a New Vagina
Seriously Twisted Humor.
So my girl queafed. Made a little fart
from her vagina during sex. She got sooooo
embarrassed about it.
HER: Oh my God! I'm so sorry! I want it to be a paradise for you. ME: Baby, it's okay. Don't worry about it. Even the Bahamas get hurricanes. Sometimes after sex, I like to leave my jammy in her fun-dip. Just let it sit in there as I smile and start to nod off. She HATES that! HER: Hey! Keep it moving or take it out! It's a dance club, not a lounge! ME: I'm waiting on line to get into the V.I.P. section. HER: You don't even know where to find the V.I.P. section! Thank goodness my girl's vagina is well trimmed. That's nice. Once I was with a girl who's vagina was super hairy. If it was a character in one of those old silent movies, it would be the villain who ties the girl to the train tracks... and twirls its evil moustache. 3 Qualities of an Excellent Vagina: 1 - Does not smell like Canal Street in Chinatown, New York City 2 - Grips tightly around your jammy 3 - Does not contain AIDS Also, it help if her clitoris is not bigger than your penis. I was once with a girl who had a huuuuuge clit. It was scary. I imagined she peed at a urinal with that thing. She could slap a guy in the face with that thing and leave a mushroom mark. I was licking her fun-dip and that thing got hard-on and gave me a black eye. Yes, she got a clit-boner. Now guys, remember, the most important thing about a vagina is the woman (or goat) to whom it is attached. No matter how excellent a vagina may be, if it comes with a yammering, nagging woman (or goat), you are making a mistake to imbibe its meat-hole milk. Wow. That's the most disgusting phrase ever.
* Choose your vagina carefully.
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