Getting Caught

by HogWild

A lot of guys get caught --- staring at other bims when out with their girlfriend.

And to those nubs I say, if you VALUE your relationship, you’ll simply stop – getting caught.

Because us nubs MUST look at every woman. In a split-second we think things like, “Hell yeah,” “only in the dark,” “get her on an exercise bike and get me a six-pack,” "hmm, yes BUT I wouldn’t tell my friends,” “cute face, nice Spongebob Bookbag, no! Don’t want to go to jail!”

It is foul and it is base but it is true. This is the nature of Man. We can see 8,945 – excuse me—46 – pairs of snuggle-bubbles and still be curious as to how the next bim’s look. We are all programmed to be pre-verts. We want to see more, more, MORE! This explains the rate at which hard drive storage space has increased.

But as men, we MUST at least TRY to give our women enough respect that we don’t glare at another girl’s globes in her presence! It is a difficult task but not impossible. 

Whenever a hot bim walks by, quickly think about something else like “I wonder if Judge Judy and Judge Joe Brown hang out.” Or, “I wonder what’s another word for Thesaurus.” Or maybe, “I wonder if Dr. Phil uses Turtlewax – on his forehead.”

BUT, if you ARE caught – you must NEVER admit to the wrong-doing. The truth would hurt her feelings. And you don’t want to see her cry, right? She says, “Were you just staring at the waitress?” Do NOT say, “you mean the one with huge rack?” Noooooooo! 

Instead say, “No, I think you have something in your hair.” 

She will becomes so self-conscious she will forget about the whole thing and immediately leave to go the Ladies Room to check. 

Perfect! Because when she’s gone you can safely stare at seductively super Snocones all ya like! 

But please note: this little trick only works once per date. She's gonna catch on if every two seconds you’re like, “Staring? NO! You have a  piece of lettuce in your teeth. Staring? No! Something dangling off your nose. Staring? No! Zit on your forehead – cold sore on your lip – eye-booger – dandruff – little—itty-bitty chin hair."

Dating Coach HogWild will help your relationship or dating life with his helpful and hilarious dating advice.

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