I'm trying to not touch myself for 1 week. Can I do it? Funny rants. Dirty Jokes. Twisted Humor.
HOGWILD.NET  expert dating advice. helpful and hilarious videos!

Expert Dating Advice

| EXPERT DATING ADVICE | DATING ADVICE | DATING COACH | MEMBERS | STORE | FUNNY PICTURES | FUNNY RANTSCOMEDY VIDEOS | DATING ADVICE MAN | CARTOONS | CHATSGAMES | LINKS | COMEDY SHOWS | CONTACT | JOIN NOW |

Professional Dating Advice videos that will help you get the awesome relationship you deserve!

Expert Dating Advice  
Funny MySpace Pictures
Funny Rants / Dirty Jokes
Comedy Videos
News
Dating Advice Man
Cartoons Twisted Humor
Chats
Games
Comedy Shows
Contact/Email Me
Free Newsletter
Links
Dating Advice Videos 
 Subscribe in a reader
Professional Dating Advice
Crazy T-Shirts
100% Free Dating Site
Dating Advice

Hog's Deals & Discounts
Poop Jokes





Day 7: I Made It! But What did I Learn?

by me, HogWild

hogwild

Okay, I'm going to get personal here. I am performing an experiment. I am trying to not touch myself for 1 week.

I have completed Day 7. If you missed it, see Day 1 & 2 and Day 3 and Day 4 and Day 5 and gut-wrenching Day 6.

On this final day of my experiment I actually woke up angry.

Usually I wake up happy and ready to start my day of making silly jokes. But today I woke up p!ssed off. If I had a crossbow next to my bed, I would have loaded it up with a flaming poison arrow and shot a fluffy-tailed squirrel from my apartment window.

When this day ended, I was so excited. I actually yelled out, "Woo-hoo!" Really.

The last 4 minutes of my experiment, I did nothing but stare at the clock. It was like I was counting down like last minutes of the last period of the school day.

It was the most exciting countdown since New Year's Eve in New York City. And when I finished counting down... I let the balls drop.

Yeah, it was like a New Year's Eve. 3... 2... 1... Woo-hoo! But instead of confetti, it was raining down shredded up pages of Playboy magazine. And you know that noise-maker thing that you blow into and it inflates while making a funny sound?

My pen!s did that.

My pen!s was so happy, that it got festive.

So what did I learn?

Lesson 1: Never do that again.

Yeah, that totally sucked.

Lesson 2: Was I more productive?

That was the whole point of the No Touching Myself Experiment. I figured that without touching myself, I would have all this extra time to get more work done.

And I did.

But it wasn't worth it.

I still wasted a bunch of time. But instead of touching myself, I wasted time doing other stupid stuff like reading the news.

NOTE: Yes, reading the news IS wasting time. 99% of the news is worthless information that does nothing to make you into a better person. It's just another form of entertainment. And it gives you something to talk about with people with whom you really have nothing to talk about.

Lesson 3: Never do that again.

I know that was also Lesson 1. But man, holy crap! I am proud of myself for following through and keeping my word. It was a challenge.

I may not accomplish anything in life, but at least I can say I did this. I should get a certificate.

Maybe it will say this on my tombstone:

R.I.P.

"For 1 week, he did not touch himself."

For some of you guys and girls out there, this may not have been a big challenge. But I'm very sexual. You know how when you look up at the sky you see things formed in the clouds? I see boobies.

Always.

GIRL: I see an angel handing flowers to a panda.
ME: I see boobies!

GIRL: Ooh! Now I see an elephant!
ME: I see boobies!

GIRL: I see a snowman dancing with an elf.
ME: I see that, too!
GIRL: Really?!
ME: Yeah, that elf has huge boobies!

 Subscribe in a reader

 
Professional Dating Advice videos and expert dating advice by award-winning comedian HogWild!

Get my HogWild Funny Rants & Funny Pictures in your Email!

Check out my Hot Deals & Discounts

More Funny HogWild Rants and Jokes

Now see my Dating Coach advice and videos!

Google
 
Web www.hogwild.net




Now go watch my Expert Dating Advice videos!

Watch my helpful and hilarious Expert Dating Advice videos!

 
Dating Advice! Expert dating advice videos, your dating advice questions answered by HogWild!

Professional Dating Advice videos that will help you get the awesome relationship you deserve!





Expert Dating Advice Videos by me -- HogWild -- professional dating advice: helpful and hilarious.

I'm trying to not touch myself for 1 week. Can I do it? Funny rants. Dirty Jokes. Twisted Humor.
HOGWILD.NET  expert dating advice. helpful and hilarious videos!

| EXPERT DATING ADVICE | DATING ADVICE | DATING COACH | MEMBERS | STORE | FUNNY PICTURES | FUNNY RANTSCOMEDY VIDEOS | DATING ADVICE MAN | CARTOONS | CHATSGAMES | LINKS | COMEDY SHOWS | CONTACT | JOIN NOW |