13 Ways New York City's Subway Riders are Dealing with the 50 Cent Fare Hike 

So, I polled my fellow straphangers to find out the 

"13 Ways New York City's Subway Riders are Dealing with the 50 Cent Fare Hike"

1. “By finding alternate modes of mass transit.”

A man in a cheap suit hops on back of a bicycle, much to the surprise of the Chinese Food delivery man.

2. “By exercising their 1st Amendment rights: Freedom to be ignored by the government.”

Mayor Bloomberg leans his head out of the window to respond to his subjects in his usual diplomatic way, by sticking his fingers in his ears and sticking out his tongue.

3. “By pulling their kids out of fancy public schools in favor of an on-the-job education.”

The scene is the Industrial Revolution. Kids in tattered clothes populate a factory. Their bodies get caught between the gears of the machinery. Their faces are black with soot and oil. We see a little kid talk to the Big Bossman.

Kid: “Excuse me Mista Big Bossman. May I have a bwake? I wost my finga."

Bossman crouches down to kid’s height: “No! Now get back to woyk!”

Bossman blows cigar smoke in kid’s face.

4. “By increasing their efforts for the environment.”

Fifty cents = 10 more cans that will be recycled! Bonus!  

5. “By politely declining to support the arts.”

In the subway, a saxophone player toots for tips but to his dismay, his tip box is empty except for a stick of Doublemint and a half-eaten bagel.

6. “By actively seeking a 2nd job to supplement their unemployment income.”

A guy is on the internet, surfing hotjobs.com. The screen reads: 

NYC Area
Search Results:
Still Nothing.

7. “By reducing unnecessary expenses.”

2 roommates in their tiny ass New York apartment. It’s hot as hell. The A/C is broken. Dirty clothes are piled up. The kitchen is devoid of anything edible. But the 2 dudes sit in front of the TV eating Chinese take-out watching Real Sex 57 on HBO.

8. “By expanding their tastes in music.”

A punk rocker wearing headphones pulls out his empty pockets when he sees the cost of batteries in the store.

On the train, he sits really close – too close – to a black guy blasting rap music through his headphones. The punk rocker tries to enjoy it.

9. “By demanding better service for their dollars.”

A man sits and waits for the train. He lifts up his foot which has a white rag hanging over it. 

He says to an MTA employee in an orange vest: “How ‘bout a shoe shine while I wait?"

MTA employee: “I’d love to! Because I’ve been struggling internally on how to justify that big, fat 1% raise."

10. “By taking hostages.”

A pregnant lady with a kid in a stroller painfully holds 6 heavy bags stands, while an evil looking man hordes 2 seats on the train.

Evil man to pregnant lady: “If you want these seats, you’ll hand over the ransom – 2 bucks! In small, unmarked coins."

11. “By increasing high-yield, short-sighted investments.”
Customer at convenience store counter. Display sign reads: “Lottery: $25 Million”

Customer to employee: “No, this week, make it SEVEN tickets!”

12. “By fundraising from unlikely sources.”

A young man sticks his finger in the coin return of a public pay phone . A sign says, “NEXT PHONE: 27 MILES”

13. “By being less extravagant when dining out.”

A couple orders at the counter of “Ray’s Cousin Ray’s Famous Pizza.”

Wife : “I’ll have a slice with mushroom and pepperoni.”

Outraged Husband: “What?!! Do I look like Rockefeller?! 2 Plain!"

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