1980s Dunkin Donuts Guy Euology. Sick Jokes. Funny Pictures, Jokes.

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R.I.P. Dunkin Donuts Guy

Jokes and Funny Pictures

HogWild's Eulogy for

The Dunkin Donuts Guy

Time to make the Donuts... in heaven. Dunkin Donuts Guy... you filled our hearts with love and the arteries to our hearts with cholesterol.

You were our beloved Jelly-filled Munchkin. You’ll be remembered for so much more than your 1980’s Dunkin’ Donuts commercials. For example your…uh, well, who could ever forget that other thing you did.. dammit Dunkin Donuts Guy you deserved to have at LEAST been on some pathetic VH-1 Reality Show!

You were as sweet as the pastries you peddled. You never swore, except that one time you called your boss a stupid donut-hole.

We all loved you and your mustache. Even as its trimming strayed into dangerous territory: from fun-loving Charlie Chaplin to decidedly un-donut loving Hitler.

It seems right that you were buried in a box with 11 of your friends.

On Earth, you never found a companion, but we hear that St. Peter is going to hook you up with with the “Where’s the Beef? Lady." We also hear that she won't ever have to ask YOU that question, big guy!

Conspiracy theories abound on your death... were you "whacked" by thugs working for Krispy Kreme?

Or, more simply, were you taken from us, because at 83 years old, Dunkin Donuts felt you were stale and threw you into the metaphorical dumpster behind a metaphorical Dunkin Donuts in a metaphorical alley in metaphorical Boston, Massachusetts?

In any case, we know you are with the Great Baker... and glowing above your head is the holy white-powdered donut-halo.

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