It's over. Done. Kaploooie! Relationship melt-down.

I'm sorry for your loss.

Your heart is SMASHED! Here, drink a warm cup of "That Sucked."

And you're ok with that. Now. But you want to know the REAL reason they broke up with you so you can learn something from all this.

Was it something you did?

Like that time you cursed out their grandmother.

Something you didn’t do?

Like when you didn’t celebrate their birthday because you were on a date with someone else.

Or were they just a jerk-face jerk-a-zoid?! Yeah!

The obvious way is to ask them. But... people do this weird thing called "lying." They say to themselves that they're protecting YOUR feelings when they lie but mostly they're doing it to avoid feeling awkward or uncomfortable.

For example:

HER: Why did you break up with me?!

HIM: Ummmm... because I'm not ready for a relationship.

HER: Tell me the REAL reason!

HIM: Ummm... because I met another girl who is prettier.

HER: You jerk! Now I need to 10 years of therapy!

HIM: No, you actually just need 10 months of running on the treadmill.

HER: You're a douche-wad!

Do you see how someone would want to AVOID that interaction? hahahaha

So to get the truth out of them, you need to eliminate their FEAR that you will create an uncomfortable confrontation.

Most people do things to avoid anticipated pain and to bring pleasure. What pleasure does someone get from being totally honest with you? Um, none. Unless... you create some.

What pleasure can you give? Let your ex be honest as a way for them to erase their heavy feelings of guilt.

For instance, say a girl breaks up with a guy and the guy was nice to her and he's very sweet. But she met some bad-ass with muscles and a cool car. She did what she felt was best for her and she probably feels guilty that she hurt her ex-boyfriend's feelings.

So give her a way to remove the guilt by saying...

This is taken from my Premium Members section where I post my new videos.

Here are some more tips, but only Premium Members get the entire video + access to over 125 full dating and relationship videos in the Video Vault!

- Oftentimes, the person who ended the relationship can't put into words for THEMSELVES why they broke up with you. They just have a "feeling." Feelings however, come from thoughts. So really, they have had thoughts about things that happened over your relationship or even before your relationship that changed their level of attraction to you.

- Do not think about your ex. Your thoughts are not random. They are controlled by your focus.

- Did your ex ever love you or did they just want to love SOMEONE?

In other words, they wanted a relationship so badly that they got into it with you even though you were never exactly right for them in the first place. You met certain expectations but not all. In a way, they used you.

Sometimes guys use girls for sex. Sometimes girls use guys for emotional connection. Using someone for sex is not love. Using someone for emotional connection is not love either. Both are dishonest.

- The best way to find out the real reason for the break-up is by retracing your steps.

If you lost your keys, you'd think about everything you did that day and every place you went. Do that with your relationship.

It might help to have a dating coach (like me) help you with this. The way to do this on your own is to...

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Comment below! How did you discover the reason for your break-up? If the other person cheated, why did they do it?

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