S in Virginia writes...

Dear HogWild,

Your advice is hilarious and fun to watch. It's fantastic and makes great sense at the same time.

(Well, thank you!)

I'm 25 years old and I've never had a boyfriend, never been on a date, and I've never been kissed.

I can count on one hand the times I have ever been asked out... in my life.

I continually end up in the friend zone no matter what I do. I've tried being obvious, being coy, and being the super best friend that is always there.

I've gotten "you're such an awesome person, any guy would be lucky to have you" or "you'd be so friggin sexy if you were skinny" to "no guys gonna want you unless you put out."

In college, it was a joke that any guy that was friends with me, wanted my roommate. I don't get it. What's wrong with me? I am a pleasantly plump chick, but I don't have a problem with it, I don't understand why other people do.

I am sane, I dress nice, and I wear make up and stuff. I've been told I'm funny by all my guy friends. I'm intelligent, I have three degrees.

Does it really boil down to guys like skinny chicks?

Or do the guys that like big chicks just not live anywhere near me?

If you're not what normal guys consider physically attractive, how do you overcome it?

Am I just missing the signs of a guy liking me? Where DO you go to meet nice guys?

Maybe I'm just meant to be condemned to the societal convent of the unwanted. I'm not the only one, a lot of my heavier female friends have the same problem.

I included a picture. Maybe you can tell me if it's just my face getting in the way.

Good luck with this one.

- S in Virginia

I looked at your picture. You're definitely cute. And you're definitely fat.

#1: There is nothing "wrong" with you. If you are happy with your body, then stay that way!

Keep it that way, if you enjoy missing out on multiple orgasms so you can have multiple chins!

Besides a third chin is a great place to apply a sticky note!

Sure, you’ve never been kissed by a man, but so what! Your lips have kissed bacon!

So no man has been inside you. So what?! *You’ve* never been inside a compact car!

So what if your thighs could swallow a motorcycle!

Look, you might be happy being fat, but you are writing to me because you are UNHAPPY with the RESULTS of being fat.

In society, at this current time, most men want a woman -- not who is skinny -- but who has a figure that more resembles the number 8, than the number 0.

Look, maybe I could be happy being unemployed and having no ambition and being very poor with no motivation to be able to support myself. I'd say, "But I don't mind living in this abandoned warehouse! It's cozy! I have my days free to do whatever I want!"

But while *I* may like that, I would not like the RESULTS of that. Most girls wouldn't want me. I could cry, "Waaaa! I am doomed by society to be unwanted! Why do women value a man who gets off his ass and works! Waaa!"

Well, you are waaaaa'ing. Yes, it's great fun for you to be fat but you live in a place and time where that ain't gonna make it easy for you to get a man.

Now that said, I know plenty of good men who have big wives. Very big. And these guys are nice and sweet and successful.

So you need to bring down your weight from un-boinkable to boinkable. So yes, you can still be fat. You need to go from blimp to... hot air balloon.

NOTE TO GIRLS: I know some of you girls are like, "Oh my God, how can you call her fat?!" Because she is! You girls have no problem calling a short guy, short! He is! I'm only saying it because that’s what her problem is about.

Listen, you're pretty and you're intelligent and you possess a work ethic to have earned three University degrees. Now use that work ethic for another goal. No guy cares about your 3 college degrees when your ASS has *360* degrees.

Once you go from super fat to regular fat, you will have more options.

Go for good guys who are awkward around women. Good guys who never approach women. There are lots of these guys. Many of them are academic types or engineers. What they lack in social skills, they make up for in sweetness.

Or... here are 3 other ways for you to get a good boyfriend...

This is taken from my Premium Members section where I post my new videos.

Here are some more tips, but only Premium Members get the entire video + access to over 125 full dating and relationship videos in the Video Vault!

- It's all about what you can offer each other. You want to be loved. What can you OFFER? You can offer your sweetness and caring and intelligence and sense of humor. That's a lot!

But it's being hidden behind those huge arms of yours. If your arms were dinosaurs, they'd be tricepaflops.

- If you want to stay very fat, keep an open mind just like you keep an open refrigerator. If don't want to lose weight, then this is EXACTLY what you should do to attract a boyfriend...

Only Premium Members have access to this Video!

1 - Learn more about the Premium Membership

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2 - You realize Life is Short, get the relationship you deserve and Join Now!

Comment below! Guys, would you date a very fat girl with a great personality? Girls, would you date a guy who had was short and lazy but with a great personality?

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